I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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