I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the day after is always just damage control
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
