Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
