There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
