Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize