I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
soo... how was my night?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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