Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Green mimosas i think yes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
