somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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