..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
