dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I wish there were birth control emojis
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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