Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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