I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize