awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
