I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
