I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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