Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
