Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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