a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
