i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think your dad took our porno
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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