He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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