...so i touched it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
