What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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