I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i think im in europe. pls send help
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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