hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
