WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
