how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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