Umm I'm too high to move.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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