As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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