you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
