Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
