So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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