my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
