in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
