Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
