There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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