there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
