youre lurking in front of me
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
