I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
