I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
