:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
