whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
