its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
