Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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