i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
