I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize