Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
