Are we in a gay sports bar?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
