Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
