The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
