I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
