I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
