ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
