Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
