I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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