I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
