Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
