no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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