is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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