He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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