My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
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