before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Still dying that you shit outside
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
